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1676 Tavern Brawl
"The '76" is a reference to a tavern brawl, roughly a minute and a half in duration, that occurred in Grogstar's Imaginary Flute Pub in Castow on November 18th, 1676. Ellyn Avery, Rolf Evans, Devan Tardale, and Amery Cradock were sitting at a table when they were approached by fellow army commander Gareth the Weazel. Gareth was heavily drunk and made some off-color remarks toward Avery, who lost her temper and threw him out a window, whereupon the everyone in the tavern jumped up and the situation devolved into an all-out brawl. Dozens were injured before Commander-General Henry Taelor returned with Grogstar from an evening walk and broke up the fight. All participants were made to clean up the mess they had made and pay Grogstar for any and all damages. Background November 18, 1676 saw heavy snowfall over Castow, with most military personnel sheltering from the bad weather in Grogstar's Imaginary Flute Pub. Avery, Tardale and Evans entered the tavern at approximately 3 o'clock in the afternoon. Avery was reportedly complaining of a relapse in headaches (she suffered from chronic pains her entire life.) The trio moved to a table which was occupied by second-in-command Amery Cradock, sat down with him, and ordered drinks. After about ten minutes, an off-duty soldier nicknamed "Gareth the Weazel" staggered drunkenly over to the table, leaned in leering towards Avery, and attempted to hit on her. Tardale, who was in a not-so-secret relationship with Avery, stood up to confront the Weazel. However, before he could open his mouth, Avery seized the Weazel by the collar and threw him bodily out of a window, smashing glass, where he smacked headlong into a lamppost. Things Escalate Angered at the resort to physical violence, other soldiers in the tavern rose from there seats and surrounded Avery's table. Another soldier approached Avery and attempted to confront her. At this point, Cradock, who was the commanding officer present, and thus could have difused the situation, grabbed the soldier by the arm and remarked something along the lines of "You need to watch that attitude!" The soldier aimed a punch at Cradock's nose, but Cradock grabbed and twisted the man's arm and then shoved him. The man went stumbling backward and knocked over a table, spilling alcoholic beverages all over the floor and himself. At this point, a jukebox started playing the track "Baby Park" from the soundtrack of Mario Kart: Double Dash and, as Grogstar's assistant later put it "All hell broke loose" with soldiers jumping from their seats and charging at the four surrounded patrons. Avery and Cradock lept onto their table and commenced a kind of jig, spinning 'round and 'round all the while punching, kicking, and slamming mugs over the heads of their assailants. Tardale and Evans, alarmed at the sudden turn of events, stood on either side of the table and fended off angry drunkards from all quarters. "We should maybe do something to calm things down!" quipped Tardale, as he danced around to avoid an ill-aimed blow and moved back in for a right-hook "Cradock clearly won't!" Cackling madly, Commander Cradock smashed his forehead into the face of an oncoming drunkard, breaking his own nose and causing blood to run down his face. Evans, who was a large man, seized two assailants and flung them along the bar counter, smashing glasses and plates. Grogstar's assistant activated a mechanism which sealed the shelves of beverages with wooden boards. The Fight Continues Avery smashed a stool over the heads of Jimar Ruuz and Jayne Armistead. However, as she turned to check her flank, she was tackled and knocked bodily from the table, wherupon a pig-pile commensed. Tardale, desperate to get them off, drew his sword. The fighting stopped and the entire tavern went silent and looked at him, including Avery. Seeing the dissaproving headshakes, Tardale sheathed his sword and apologized sheepishly. The fighting continued. At this point, about a minute and a half into the fight, the Commander of the Armies of Alford, Henry Taelor, was returning from an afternoon stroll with his good friend Grogstar. After seeing Gareth the Weazel attempting to stagger to his feet, only to be hit by another body being thrown out another window (breaking more glass) the two jogged ahead to investigate. The tavern door swung open and in strode Taelor and Grogstar to the scene of pure anarchy. Horrified that his troops would behave in this way, Taelor put his fingers to his lips and whistled. The room quieted and the fighting stopped. Aftermath A furious General Taelor publicly upbraided his troops for their uncouth behavior, particularly Cradock, who was the commanding officer on the scene and should have been a better influence on the troops. After bringing in a cleric to see to the wounded, Taelor then ordered everyone to clean up the tavern and to pay Grogstar for all the damages they had done. Grogstar briefly considered hiring guards to keep order in his establishment, but ultimately decided that he should merely be present during working hours The brief fight has entered into the lore of the Flute Pub. Some still come to witness the spot where the four held off dozens of attackers. Grogstar remarked that this single, destructive fight did more to enhance the prestige of the Imaginary Flute Pub than anything he ever did.